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DB:DSoT Ver.2
Topic Started: Feb 8 2015, 04:03 AM (6,137 Views)
Goddess Ultimecia
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So, after a year and a half of DSoT existing and in that time frame having improved my storytelling, characterization, and general writing ability I've decided it'd be best to start with a clean-slate. The new chapters will feature more-better everything basically lol. I felt as though it'd be nice to do this since when I look back at my first few chapters they're... mediocre at best. I hope this doesn't rustle the jimmies of any of my previous readers. I guarantee you though that this re-done series will be of much higher quality.

I will be posting the chapters here in this thread btw.
Edited by Goddess Ultimecia, Feb 8 2015, 04:04 AM.
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Goddess Ultimecia
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Prologue: Squall and Friends Confront Ultimecia; An Unexpected Turn of Events


So, with the new start. I decided it'd pretty fun to take a new direction with it compared to the old version. While it is loosely similar, it is still entirely different. That being said, your thoughts?
Edited by Goddess Ultimecia, Feb 11 2015, 10:18 PM.
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Professor Gohan
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Indeed you've come a long way, and I've witnessed you RP damn near every single day. So it's showing. I like how similar yet different of a feel I get from the revision. I can picture your occurrences well; and in all honesty, the improvement of grammar allows me to flow through your chapter smoothly.

I'm pretty sure the Goku and Gohan scene is coming up soon, so I can't wait to see how you do things with that. I know it'll be good.
Edited by Professor Gohan, Feb 13 2015, 10:42 PM.
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Goddess Ultimecia
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Indeed the scene is, I feel like I'm capable of actually writing the scene now instead of writing it just when they finish. I feel now I can add much more description to small little things like the effects of punches and the like. But... before we get to that, it'd be fitting to take a trip to the Dream World no?

Edit: Just kidding by the way.
Edited by Goddess Ultimecia, Feb 13 2015, 10:57 PM.
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dbzhero
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Butterfly King, b***.

Dang, it's been a while since I've done any writing for roleplaying. Reading this brought me back to the good ol' days xD. Also, I really like your writing. Keep it up.
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Goddess Ultimecia
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Thanks guys, I felt that Squall's beginning group was no-sold and were basically castaways in the first version. Aside from Zell (whom only had one showing of amazing speed).

Selphie, Irvine, Quistis, and Rinoa I felt had nothing said about them. Only being referred to as a group rather than individuals. If I had gone further with the first version, everyone would be confused with how they would be strong as hell later on in their own way. By redoing everything I feel like when we do get to that part that it'll make much more sense from then on out.
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Squall Leonheart
Feb 13 2015, 10:35 PM
Indeed the scene is, I feel like I'm capable of actually writing the scene now instead of writing it just when they finish. I feel now I can add much more description to small little things like the effects of punches and the like. But... before we get to that, it'd be fitting to take a trip to the Dream World no?

Edit: Just kidding by the way.
Haha, nothing wrong with that. Sometimes that's what helps your writing the most.

But yeah, you working on that next chap yet? Looking forward.
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Goddess Ultimecia
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Lord Orochimaru
Feb 17 2015, 10:45 PM
Squall Leonheart
Feb 13 2015, 10:35 PM
Indeed the scene is, I feel like I'm capable of actually writing the scene now instead of writing it just when they finish. I feel now I can add much more description to small little things like the effects of punches and the like. But... before we get to that, it'd be fitting to take a trip to the Dream World no?

Edit: Just kidding by the way.
Haha, nothing wrong with that. Sometimes that's what helps your writing the most.

But yeah, you working on that next chap yet? Looking forward.
Working on the outline, got most of the chapter structured. Just need to fill it in. It may take some time since I'm dealing with an injured shoulder and a nasty cold. Not promising an exact date, soon though.
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Professor Gohan
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Hell yeah, soon is enough.
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Goddess Ultimecia
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Chapter 1. Squall Crash-Lands; A Mysterious Entity Inside Squall
Edited by Goddess Ultimecia, Feb 23 2015, 05:39 AM.
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Professor Gohan
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Smooth episode. I really dig the pacing and smooth feel to it.

I also like that Oob's ki shaped an image of Kid Boo, much like the Ozaru or Dragon Fist, right?

Yeah, I'm really familiar with this chapter. I was able to imagine the differences really well.
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Goddess Ultimecia
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Yeah, twas' the idea behind it. I could've gone with the entire "Goku teaches Oob the Dragon Fist" thing I had going before, but i thought it'd be neat if Oob had his own unique variant of it. Instead of the power of the Dragon, it's the power of the Majin. Likely with its own benefits, but i got a question. D'ya notice any glaring contrasts to the Boo's?
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Professor Gohan
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What do you mean by your question.
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Goddess Ultimecia
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Lord Orochimaru
Feb 23 2015, 03:41 PM
What do you mean by your question.
Characteristics of Boo. Did you see anything that Oob contrasted to?
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Professor Gohan
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Yes. I pictured Oob in a powering up stance with like a faint image of Kid Boo behind him. In other words that would be his ki working.

Think of the dragon from the Dragon Fist appearing against Super 17 or Eis. You could even think of the Ozaru picture when you first see Goku transform into a SSj4.

I hope that answers your question.
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